Saturday, July 4, 2015

Cranky Musings-July already

It's been quite a while since I last posted to the blog.  Life is a blur most days around here.  Thoughts swirl around in my head with little time to focus on any one thing.  Routine is key these days, it's the only way things get done.  No thanks to the lousy weather this year has dished out.  6 days of rain, 2 days dry then another 8 days of rain, 1 day dry, yadda yadda. Now it's been 5 days of rain overnight and 2 days dry.  How am I supposed to get hay cut like that?  Not like the work schedule really allows it anyway.  Had to be insistent about that too, it's been made known that when I get the chance to cut hay,  work had best figure it out how to cover my shifts.

Got a letter from the IRS, apparently, the withholding from last year was incorrect so it seems I owe the federal government $300.  I made a whopping $14,000 last year, they stole $600 from me before I ever saw it and now I have to give them another $300 on top of the $95 tax for breathing I had to cough up.  Great.  There goes the $75 I managed to save up so far this year plus 6 months of any possibility of saving a dime.  Crap, what am I going to use to pay the property taxes with?

Blah, blah, blah, price of freedom etc.  Really?  What is it exactly that money is buying me?  Not a damn thing as far as I can tell.  There is no benefit to me in any way.  No protection of any sort, no provisions, no help around the farm, the government is damn sure not heating or cooling this dump for me.  Eh, every year this pisses me off a little more.  I suppose it's simply because I am so independent. Completely against the grain and not going with the flow.  Oh well.  Not like it's ever going to change for the better.

I've realized that I'm old.  Not decrepit old but past the prime of life thing.  My kids are grown (more or less, the youngest may never grow up) and I'm not 30 anymore.  The things I used to do wear me out quicker and the recovery time seems a little longer.  I've realized another pair of hands around every now and then would be useful.  Then, I get the idea of finding a companion and THAT just pisses me off too.  My entire life has been my own, mistakes and all.  I don't do the lack of common sense thing very well and stupidity isn't tolerated too well either.  So, men around me tend to annoy me as I constantly find the ones who are stupid or obnoxious with a laundry list of bad habits.  A lady companion is not an option either as I seem to be surrounded by either needy women or ones who are looking for some sort of advantage to advance their own agendas.  The whole idea of a companion isn't so I can once again take care of another pitiful life form!  If you're not wearing your big boy panties, don't jump up!  Geez!  LOL  Eh, I like being alone but not every second of every day.  I simply can not compromise who I am for a little company every now and then.

So, the farm isn't getting mowed as often as it should, the garden isn't weeded the way I'd like it to be, the critters are the only thing that's right on schedule every day and I wish I had more time for that.  A lazy day for drinking coffee would be nice.  There's just not enough time in the day for that around here.  The older I get, the harder it is to sleep and the harder it is to get out of bed after a night of laying there, sleeping, waking up, sleeping again etc.  4 hours of sleep all in one shot would probably improve my mood, LOL.  On the good side tho, the weedy garden is producing like crazy and I am actually eating decent for a change!  I'm already seeing a few sleepless nights coming.  It will be the only way I get produce canned up for the winter/spring meals. 

So, I just soldier on, day after day with my pitiful $250 a week paycheck, doing what I can to keep onkeeping on.  Some days are better than others.  One thing is always there tho- the peace and quiet of simple living and the freedom that comes with it.  Way out here, away from all the stupidity, no one bothers you and you do as you need to every day.  No rules, no restrictions, no going with the flow of other peoples opinions.  Just simple and quiet.  And taxes.  Always taxes............

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